Leaving on a Jet plane.

The countdown has begun. I am ready to fly back to India. I shudder involuntarily.

Now there are only three kinds of flights – the boring , the more boring and the most boring.

There is nothing funny about keeping your butt planted on an uncomfortable chair with your knees hitting the front chair for almost twenty hours. And yeah I am just 5.6”.
Tall guys , I feel for you.

Gimme the long pleasant travels in the train any day. You can see me grinning ear to ear like a Cheshire cat even if it is an overnight journey.

But I have some anecdotes to share. What is life without a few anecdotes.

Back then in the 90s, there weren’t many people flying. The travel was more laid back. The airhostess were really pretty as in well … errr………. Pretty , not the matronly mamas that the western airways specialize in. Looks like Rip Wan Winkle joined their HR department and went for a long slumber without any fresh appointments for 20 years.

I remember the time when I was flying to Nairobi. I was pretty young. The flight was half full and the air hostesses were pretty relaxed. I loved their red wine and asked in my sweetest convent school boy manners if I may have another one. The airhostess took an immediate fancy. Maybe they had a stock of red wines due for expiry.

All the three girls conspired and made me tipsy to the point that I was pretty glassy eyed and tipsy. I slept like a new born baby for more than six hours. And when I woke up the mischievous ladies were ready with hot steaming black coffee. I fell in love with Ethiopian Airlines. My love affair was grounded as the next trip which was supposed to be in another three months never happened. Suzanne if you ever read this, which I wonder would happen, this is for you and your friends

Emirates was my preferred Airlines till I was in UK. But USA it would be like going in the passenger train. Too many halts. And too many changes. I have loads of sky miles which I just have to donate. Ditto my another favorite KLM. They have closed shop for Hyderabad. I miss those three magical words those lovely ladies poured into my ears after a decent lunch " Like some liqueur". damn i remembered my mom. " beta gajar ka halwa khayega?" doesnt hurt sometimes to have matronly women. does it?

So what do I really hate about flying apart from the long hours. Well everything. I only love the anticipation of reaching the Indian shores, breathing that familiar air , bracing for the maddening chaos. Ah ! I can suffer many such flights to be home.

I too had my shares of mishaps. Engine snafus, terrorist alert , losing my passport and all documents in Geneva , bad weather detours even once to Canada instead of Miami just everything. Once while picking up a bouquet from a friend, I pricked myself on the thorn. Well life sure isn’t a bed of roses.
In fact three years back I once was late and bracing for a last minute rush only to find an evacuation in Miami airport. In the end I was the first passenger in the queue.

There are some songs which kind of become anthems. John Denver’s was sure one for people leaving the country. It was a must for all farewell parties. For the GFs to drown into. The men had the booze.

I remember the first time I left. Hugs and kisses. Tears and emotions. But I wasn’t affected. I was wearing the dollar dream. I felt like I was above emotions.

Today its only me who is crying. I tell myself. Damn boy, you are alone but not lonely.

Then with a sigh I admit as I board the plane.

I am both.

Life can be a big leveler. What giveth cometh; like a boomerang.

It hits you where it really hurts. Either the heart or the groin.

Boomerangs have a mind of their own!!!!!!!!!