Tuesday, March 31, 2009

An open letter to the PM.

Sir,

At the outset let me admit that I am a big fan of yours. So what I say or do wouldn’t change my respect for you.

I was in UK when you visited Scotland and I remember the pride which you gave me when your name was taken with such reverence there. You were always addressed in hushed tones.

Alas, that is fading now. I would indeed support Opposition leader Advani when he calls you a weak PM. Though I agree it’s not your fault altogether. You are in the wrong party, a party which is sycophantic and only respect the Gandhi name and the coalition dharma has added to your woes. But Sir, there were times when I thought you would stand up and be counted. But your leadership comes across as lusterless. I would give only few examples.

Your reaction to Mr. Advani’s call for a debate was very disappointing. I watched with awe as the Presidential debate took place here in USA and candidate after candidate gave their views on every issue. You could not agree with a candidate but you had to respect his views and his grasp on every subject. At least the voters knew what each person stood for. The response of your party was rather foolish. I expected a much more intelligent answer from some one like Mrs. Jayanthi Natarajan. Her saying that debate is suited for Presidential system only.

Sir, we follow the British system. Haven’t she heard of the debates between the PM and the opposition candidates? A down and out Tony Blair had the guts to face a live audience on BBC. He was skewered by the live audience but he took it on his chin.

The response of Mr. Digvijay Singh to Mr. Advani’s blog was also churlish. He ridiculed him saying that there were only few followers. He probably doesn’t even realize the dynamics of blogging. What your party doesn’t realize is that you boast of a youthful brigade. Always try to project Mr. Rahul Gandhi as a youth icon. He is a gentleman. I have nothing against him. But you guys are in such a time warp that you don’t even accept the modern technology and the latest trends.

Imagine the response of your AP Congress who came out with a slogan “ Yes we will”
Can you be any more original than that!!!!!!!!.

And you have the cheek to ridicule some one else? Pathetic!

In fact I appreciate Mr. Advani. He may fail. But at least he is open to new trends.

Sir, give me this 81 year old modernist to your time warped and old worldish youngsters.

Do you know Omar Abdullah has even a face book profile ?

Now come to the latest Mumbai siege. Your reaction ,to say the least ,was very late and tepid. You failed to infuse any kind of confidence in the people with your speech.

Sir, your party keeps calling BJP as a non secular party. You guys have a very flawed understanding of the word secular. I think your party is the most divisive party in the country. You take the support of the communist who think nothing of sharing the dias with Mr. Madhani who has been accused of links with some terrorist organization. And the feeble argument given is that it still isn’t proved.

The 1984 Sikh genocide was a shameful episode in history. I feel it was worse than Godhra. I do not condone Godhra. But Godhra was a reactive episode where as the assassinations of thousands of Sikhs was premeditated one.
Sir, the dead can never come back. But at least I expected that with you as the PM at least the brave Sikhs would be given justice.

It was shocking ,therefore ,when Tytler whose role was well known was let scot free.

Sir, you are a man of honor. No one can deny that. But you watched silently as the great institution of the PM was destroyed by a conniving Congress President. I have no problems with her Italian descent. She has been duly elected by the people of this country. And it has to be respected. But I have problems when she doesn’t respect our sacred institutions like the President’s or the PM post. And you allowed yourself to be a willing accomplice. That simply is not expected from a person of your stature.

Sir, while voting our country is divided on sharp lines. The Muslims and Christians feel insecure with BJP. The Hindus vote for BJP because they feel insecure with your appeasement policies. Any one who criticizes Congress is branded as communal and anyone who criticizes BJP as Anti hindu. Where is Economy, Progress, health care education . Our villages need clean drinking water. Our infrastructure is pathetic. Does any one really care?

The Tatas moved their Nano project to Gujarat. Can any sane person call Tata communal?

The recession is round the corner. Doesn’t anyone think any more?

Sir, there may be many safe constituencies. I do realize you had an operation. And I am glad that you are sound and safe. I always pray to god that you are healthy.

But how can a PM not be an elected Member.

The issues are plenty. No one has time to address.

I have very good friends who are Muslims and Christians. They feel insecure with BJP. They have my support.

BJP Must give them the assurance . They are as much Indians as Hindus and should feel they are safe and well protected.

That is something Mr. Advani has to address.

But as far as I am concerned , my vote goes, for now at least, to him. He looks to me a better candidate and the BJP a better party.

I pledge my support to him.

But as I said before its nothing personal. My respect for you still remains.

Regards.

Friday, March 27, 2009

My Hypn( ot)ic Life.

My Nephew, Yugesh , one day asked me if I knew what was Hypnic jerk. To tell the truth i didnt have the darndest idea what it meant. I checked it in the dictionary.

I guess all of us some or the other time feel it in our sleep. It ‘s like you fall with a thud.

I get it all the time.sometimes, what I would like to call as mother of all hypnic jerks. If there was an Olympics of hynpic jerks I would even defeat the Chinese. And that should mean a lot. Imagine defeating a Chinese in anything?
The Chinese have a bad habit of winning everything.

I fall from huge huge heights and fall with a thud but always on a haystack.Imagine i take care of myself even in my dreams!

I never knew that English had even had a word for that.

Come to think of it english has a word for every misery I suffer from.

In my dictionary there are two types of people. The lucky and the unlucky ones.

The lucky ones can sleep peacefully even if their bed was transported to the war zone in Iraq. And the unlucky ones like me. I cannot sleep peacefully even on a feather bed.

My brother is among the lucky ones. I remember the time, when we were kids, a cat from the alley entered our room and we thought it would be a great idea to catch it instead of letting it go. I ushered my cousins in. we closed all the windows and the door. Imagine the lights on. The doors and windows closed. And a bunch of wildly screaming kids trying to catch the hapless cat. The poor cat with nowhere to go was jumping from the window on my sleeping brother. Finally with no place to go she got into my sleeping brother's quilt! In all that din,my brother slept peacefully all through like a baby!

It’s a known fact that I get nightmares. and i scream. no one likes to share my room.
( It's like whether my screams are worse than my snores.)

For half my life I used to dream of being gagged by thieves and the sound used to die in my throat. I used to croak heelllllp. it was half a sound.

It used to happen at least twice a week.

Then one night, probably my 30th birthday, suddenly I found my voice and screamed with all my might. a long ferocious scream.

Now my family swears that they loved me more when I croaked.

I even screamed many times in the train while traveling. But mercifully my voice was drowned by the train’s noise.

I remember once in Miami I had some guests from India. These people when they arrive here suffer a change in their biological clock. So they get up at all odd times.
not wanting to disturb others, these gentle souls open their laptops and either chat with their loved ones or watch songs on Youtube.

Back then , my mom had recently expired and i was depressed and was having trouble sleeping. So I used to take sleeping pills.

One morning around 4 am I heard a very doleful voice singing something similar to “o saathi re tere bina bhi kya jeena.” a very popular song of the 70s. I pinched myself. I was awake. I felt like the child of sixth sense. “ I can hear voices.”

I was living among Spanish people with no indian face around. and this was a very old song. besides i hardly ever listened to hindi music. Something was wrong. I had to see a psychiatrist I thought. i felt terribly depressed. something wrong was happening.

Morning at the breakfast ,I told my guests , two nice and decent south Indian friends, that I had to visit a Hospital. Concerned they ask my why. I explained that I was on sleeping pills I was depressed and now I was hallucinating. i heard singing. i said gravely trying my best to imitate Haley Osmont.

One of them sheepishly said that he was humming it. I was aghast. 4 am! and He hardly knew hindi. how could he sing.
“ yes.” He agreed. “ that is why I was humming and not singing!.”

Another time there was one visitor who was claustrophobic. One night he was sleeping alone in one of the bed rooms. The other visitors came late from a party. They decided to have one more beer before sleeping. As they opened cans of Budweiser beer, it made the sound like a shot gun. This guy was so terrified that some cowboys had entered the house, he tried jumping , like Rajnikant, out of the large window with all his might.

The cracking of the window glass woke him up. But the macho man sipped a glass of cold water and slept into another adventure.

and i was left counting my savings! Good bye cruise to Bahamas.

I had to pay a hefty amount to my rental community.

It was one big nightmare. Nah, it was a Hypnic jerk.

When i think of it i get it even today. even when i am awake!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

To dad with love.

Today is my Dad’s birthday.

It’s difficult to encapsulate a life in a few hundred words.

I remember the first time as a seven year old boy I was to give a two minutes speech in front of the school.
For those two minutes we went through a two weeks charade. He used to take me every day on a bicycle for my practice. We used to record the speech in his office and replay it and while on our way back we used to stop for an ice cream and he used to tell me where I went wrong. And I used to recite it again on the way home.

My dad was the proudest when the chief guest hugged me and said,
“ Yeh mithu ( parrot) kahan se le kar aye.”

Countless such competitions came and went. But he prepared me for all of them with equal enthusiasm. I won some lost many. But I overcame stage fright.

When I was addressing large gatherings of eminent people in UK as a part of my job, I used to look up and thank him every time.

I owe him every single Pound that I earned there!!!!!.

He was a dapper man with a great sartorial style. You could hardly see him without a suit. I was still a school boy and learning.

I remember a typical Indian wedding where we both were the only ones wearing suits. Back then people were not so formal. “ Dad I feel like a jerk.” I whispered. “ Don’t.” he whispered back. “ Look at all the pretty girls staring at you. You know they feel you are the most handsome guy.”

I was still angry. And to make things worse two girls giggled as they crossed us by. I was furious.

“ Girls isn’t he good looking?” Now I was red.

The girls were now laughing loudly. “ I thought you look more handsome than him.” One girl impishly commented.

“ Ah . Sad but true. But does it help to know that he carries my genes.” My unfazed dad replied. I was young then. And girls making fun of me was not something I took kindly. I was grumpy the whole evening.

When I started working and became the GM of a company , he came to my factory .
I was entertaining some clients.

“ Dad like to have a drink?”
“ Are you asking me as a GM or my son?”

“ OK either way what’s your answer?” I asked exasperated.
“ YES” He said much to the amusement of my clients. I was a mute spectator as dad took over the stage and the clients were totally absorbed in his anecdotes.Business was totally forgotten. or so i thought.

It was only when one of the clients remarked , “ You are really fortunate that you have him as a dad. My father was like Atilla , the Hun.” that I smiled. He just didnt get me business. he found me friends for life.!

Another lesson learnt. Make friends. Business will naturally follow.

The clients called me every day while he was in the Hospital.

But he was a great disciplinarian too. My mates in the engineering college would vouch for it. There was a joke in the class. They didn’t need a watch to see if it was 9. PM. All they had to do was peep through our window and see if we were at our dinner table.

I can hardly remember if we ever broke that rule.

He was a great chess player and it was always hard to defeat him.

My saddest moment was when we were taking him to delhi for his operation. I wanted to cheer him. So I offered that we play.
I was trying hard to lose. But his cancer was in advanced stage and he wasn’t able to kill the game no matter what I did.

I was in tears. My Hero was dying.

He left in style. Joking with the ward boys, the nurses and the doctors.

Every one talks about how to live. He taught us how to die.

He died but the memories didn’t.

Guys, we Indians are very poor in expressing our feelings. Make it a point to tell your dad, your mom and whoever you love, how much you love them.Do that before it's too late.

Its 12 am as i write. I come out and see. It’s a clear night. There are many stars.

I look for the brightest one.

I find one. And suddenly I see it twinkling. Nah it's winking!

That should be my dad.

“ Happy birthday dad. See that the Gods don’t drink too much.”

Friday, March 20, 2009

A Hobson's Choice- Don't think so!

Beware this is going to be a boring post. But whoever said that Making money is funny business?!!!!!!

This week I received three mails from young engineers about to complete their engineering. and I owe them a serious reply.

They have a common question. What should they opt? Job or Business.

It is a strange coincidence that I too am in the midst of the same dilemma.

( May be all great men think alike! )

Well this is one subject which I don’t think can be trivialised.

There are too many factors to be considered before even venturing into a business.

The first and the foremost is what do you really want?
Is it just the lucre of money or you are really passionate about it.

Remember for every successful business there are ten failed businesses.

The second question is do you have a concrete proposal in mind.

The third do you have the experience and the money.

If you said yes to all,

My final question , what are you waiting for?

GO FOR IT.

I would suggest you first get down to prepare a business plan. Work out the economics and the feasibility of the project. Take the help of some one experienced enough.

Make a proper research about the product to be marketed. See if you have gained the necessary experience to manage it.

I would rather concentrate on mainly two things- Finance and the Marketing.

Money doesn’t come easy. You will have to worry about the Margin money ( dig into your dad’s pocket) , the loan proposals ( maybe use his laptop for that), the angel investors ( call him angel if he pays for the whole project! ) etc.

A good presentation is a good beginning. No one will loan money - angels or VCs till they are impressed.

Many projects fail because the entrepreneurs are technical guys and who concentrate more on the process than on the marketing. Try getting a good marketing person on board. Make a detailed marketing plan.

Also remember , Business operates in a pressure cooker environment. If you cant stand the heat stay out of the kitchen.

Even an iota of doubt- opt for a job.

I would be happy to assist if someone has some concrete proposal that needs looking.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

"Le Moribond" Goodbye happiness.

Sorry guys! I am feeling a little low today.



Lyrics | Terry Jacks lyrics - Seasons In The Sun lyrics

Saturday, March 14, 2009

The Rambler's Inn.

I thought my blogging career was coming to an end as I saw just me reading my own Posts. No one else was reading Poor Me!

My nephew explained that its Holi time. Time for fun and laughter. No one is really thinking of boring things like laptops and -YOU.

Guess that madness called Holi is gone and we are back to our decent boring ways!


Smi and Ankit thanks for your funny remarks. They were worth the wait.
Amid Haikal a very thoughtful youngster posted his thoughts on charity.Thanks Amid.We may differ on many issues. But I would still respect them. A different view is always an extra dimension. Keep them coming.

I have an email from a very brave young boy who recently lost his mother to a battling cancer. He said that he could relate to my feelings in my Holi Post.Respecting his sentiment I have deleted it from my Blog.
He asked me how did I cope with the loss and how can I remain so cheerful when I am jobless.

My thoughts go out to you and your Dad as i write this post.You have handled the loss very well. I am very proud of you. Losing a parent is never easy. Remember your mom was a noble soul.God too loved her as much as you did.
As a matter of fact she never left you.Close your eyes and you can still feel her loving presence.You are a very sensible boy.Let her loving presence guide you to a fulfilling and happy career. study hard. She will rest in peace to see how well she brought you up.

And thanks for thinking you could share your sorrow with me.I am humbled. If there's anything I can do for you,I am just a shout away. Don't think twice.

Well I am jobless but not without work! My post keeps me busy.And there are many kind people like you who keep sending their appreciation and their comments making this a very worthwhile experience.
and blush blush! I am writing a book. It's appropriately called the 'The Rambler's Inn'.

The Webster describes Rambler as a person who talks or write in a desultory or long winded way.

I am enjoying this new found freedom. I am no longer a prisoner of time or a routine.
I wake up at two at night and write. sleep till 11 am and have my breakfast at 12.00.Just do what I please.

In short it would have been one great vacation but for the vitamin M which we all need to survive. (You guessed right! Those green bills with the pictures of dead presidents! President Washington on the $1 bill, President Lincoln on the $5 Bill and President Jackson on the $20 bill.

They remind me everyday of 'who moved my cheese'

" Find new cheese son else we find someone else's wallet!" They keep threatening.

Presidents can be mean too!".

Here's a preview of my Magnum Opus! You will never ever get to buy the Book.Just send me your best wishes.
My marketing strategy is all worked out.
I have already maxed my credit cards. The credit card companies won't have any option but to buy my great work of art.Buy or perish!

The dead Presidents can move their dead collective butts.

Marketing genius!!!

Move over Lee Iaccoca. Your time is up.

"The moon beam was my torch and your memory my GPS. Alas there were no wipers on my eyes as my vision blurred ; partly with the rain drops and partly with my tears. my hands trembled as your heart fell from my hand on the ground breaking into a thousand pieces.And suddenly a thousand stars looked up at me from them.I knew then.this was my abode. My rambler's inn."

Keep sending your comments Guys.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Every Night has its dawn

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Bura na mano Holi hai.

We NRIs are a sad lot. We spend half the year planning our visit to India and the remaining half talking about it on return.
And whenever there is a festival back home we are misty eyed.
But holi is something I can never get lachrymose about.

Probably its been over 15 years that I have played Holi. And I don’t ever miss it at all!
Perhaps I have spent more holis hiding in my room than playing!

Holi looks good in movies with a Rajesh Khanna or a Dharmendra sprinkling rainbow colors on the blushing heroine. Its all romance and no dirt. Wonder where has that romance gone? I hardly see any movie with a Holi song these days. But then I hardly get to see a movie!
You felt a thousand roses blooming in your heart as you watch them.

In reality , up in North its much more hardcore than that! There are no blushing heroines.
In Mathura instead , the women beat the men with sticks and rolling pins.(Ok granted.The rolling pins are my imagination. :).
Now what could be romantic about that!

I remember the one time when varnish and paint was applied on me and my own dog bonny wouldn’t allow me in. I had developed an allergy which kept my cheeks red with rashes for weeks.

Then the other problem is that I am by nature a very accident prone character. I don’t get into accidents. I make them happen.

I once walked into a glass window in a bakery in Trimulgherry in Hyderabad and got my nose smashed.(Ask the people who go there how clean the windows are) When the usher came running I sheepishly complimented him on his glass polishing skills. Another time I walked into a column while looking back and talking to someone. And had a bloody ear.

I remember one Holi each one of the guys were being thrown into a water tank by a bunch of ruffians who posed to be my friends, and when it was my turn sure enough I hit the side of the tank my tail bone bruised. Now if you guys are wondering, not only monkeys have tail bones!

I had to sit on a rubber ring for a fortnight with a lot of jokes thrown in.

Bhang, that psychotropic flagship of a holi revelery wasn’t my cup of tea. Or my glass of thandai!!!!!
I shudder to think of that one time when I was up on the tree like a monkey and afraid to step down. I decided never to touch it again.
Guys never touch bhang. specially if you are having an illicit affair.
remember what happened to Amitabh Bachan in " Rang barse ...

My Mom , like everyone's mom I am sure , was a great cook. Her party , to me, was the saving grace. At the end of all the revelry my friends used to come to my house looking like and eating like hogs countless plates of potato fritters , gujiyas and sev. She happily supervised as plates after plates were polished. She loved feeding. Honestly she did.

Alas! Today she is no more.

Holi would never be the same with out her.

Happy Holi guys. Enjoy yourself. Glad I am not there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Of Music, records and AR Rahman.

Music runs in our family. We have broken more records than probably the Mangeshkar family has ever made. The only difference was that while they were laughing their way to the bank , we always invariably ended in tears.
The first record that I broke was a priceless Beatles one. And my dad was furious. And that is how I learnt to run. I kept breaking records and kept running. Unfortunately i couldnt make a career in either athletics or music.

Music made me a star. Well almost.
I think I was five year old then. And I was given a part in the musical from the Sound of Music. I was one of the kids who sits while the teacher sings the song. ‘ Doe a Deer’ Nothing more than what I did everyday in the school really.
But it was my first stage appearance and I felt big. What happened next or what didn’t happen ever is another story. I still look back longingly at my fondest memory as a star. only if li'l champs had started a little earlier!

However , music has given me more heartaches than happiness. I remember when my room mate heard one telugu number that went something like , “ Om Namah Namah .. .” It was a melodious song and we got hooked to it. Thinking that it was a devotional song we used to play it every morning much to the annoyance of the other guys in the hostel. Till one day one guy from AP came and seriously enquired if I was jilted in love. He was roaring with laughter when he heard our part. And soon we were the butt of all jokes. We never ever played even any devotional songs after wards.

I remember my one date. Everything was perfect. The candle light, the wine and the ambience. I had requested the DJ to play Michael Bolton’s Can I touch you there which according to me is the most romantic song. Not until she settled and appreciatively looked around and then confided. “ This is perfect. Except that if he plays Michael Bolton. I will kick someone’s shin. It’s the cheesiest number I know. Imagine which creep can play that to his girl friend?” I was aghast. I was waving at the DJ not to play and he nodding his head and with a benevolent look that would have made the Pope proud played the Bolton number at full blast. I nursed my shin for a week.

Since dad was in the AirForce, I was more musically inclined towards the English music. However that was to change when I heard AR Rahman. That was accidental though.

There was one homesick student in Leeds UK who was my brother’s boss’s son. He used to be very depressed whenever ( which was always) he listened to the music of Swades .
I was pretty annoyed with him as I had tried everything.
Then exasperated I blurted, “ The first thing you need to do is give that goddamn CD to some IDIOT”. The next morning he came with utmost seriousness and said that he gave my advise a thought and couldn’t think of any one better. And he gave the CD to me!

My car seat must still be wet with the buckets of tears that I shed while listening to “ yeh jo des hai tera.” Talk of doing a good deed!


I never quite understood the meaning of ‘ ungliyon par nachana’ till I saw Rahman singing at the Oscars. He had the whole world tapping to his music.

What can you say of such a stalwart “ Jai Ho”

Rohit Ramesh from Hyderabad writes a beautiful mail. He says that he actually hated reading long articles but now enjoys them. Thanks Rohit. I am glad you enjoy them. Its fans like you who keep me going.

Keep writing guys. It makes me feel young. :)

Friday, March 6, 2009

Of the Will to do

I read a mail from one compassionate fan. He says that he loved my post titled “ Children of a lesser God” and feels motivated to do something. Only he doesn’t know what.

It is late afternoon. I decide to reply later. As it is the crack of dawn in India . I reserve this time to read the latest happenings there.

An article catches my eye “ No borders in this battle against cancer”.

It is the touching story of an engineering student in Chennai who was suffering from blood cancer and how he was treated when an Australian Donor , A Singapore Doctor and a philanthropist came together. It is indeed a very heart warming story.
Speak of the world being a global village! Wow.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/No-borders-in-this-battle-against-cancer/articleshow/4236973.cms

The part that tugged at my heart strings was the efforts put in by the students to raise Rs. 45 Lakhs.
It goes to show that when the youngsters decide , Nothing is impossible.
Well done guys; proud of you!

Once Nehru famously told JRD Tata that Profit was a dirty word.
I am a great admirer of Nehru. He was an erudite soul.
But even great men can sometimes err in their judgments.

There is no shame in making money. And profit is not dirty.

Some of the greatest philanthropists are the richest people.

But again it’s not just money. It’s the will to do something.

In one story we have both the examples.

The friend’s mother , Shanti Suresh. she had resources. She helped.
And the compassionate students of Anna University's Guindy Engineering college. They had no resources. Yet they helped.

Both had one thing in common – THE WILL ; the desire to do.

Charity is a subject close to my heart and I wouldn’t like to frivolously broach it.
Keep looking for future posts.

Guys, I came to know that there are quarterly tests and exams every where.

Beuna Suerta - which in Spanish means Good luck!!!!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Devil loves Trojan Horse

3 am : off the bed and on the ground, the fall buffered by the carpet. Feel my bones. no injury. why do we call them nightmares when they happen at 3 in the morning.

3.15 am :opened the laptop. check if someone's online. none. yaawwwwwwwwn! check my gmail. hope some one has replied to my job application.not much chance.
Even Jesus may be sleeping.
But surprise! There's one reply. A big one. i know it must be a rejection. "your resume very impressive. blah blah blah. however ... blah blah blah."
anger turns to fury. shoot a mail. " Conserve keystrokes , jerk. I see carpal tunnel written on your knuckles in bold when i read your mail. what were you aspiring? a booker award?

just two words would have been enough- You Suck!"

3.25 am : return mail from the same guy. seems to be an insomniac." wow Man! you win my heart. consider writing lyrics for T-Pain." Brings smile. He can sure give as he gets.

3.27 before i can reply, some one pings. NISHANT!!! perfect anodyne for a bad mood.(To refresh your memory, he’s the same guy who fudged his report card ( just was being creative ) and his name is not Nishant ( you can’t keep calling me anonymous. So call me Nishant – end of gloom!!!!!!).


“ You have serious self- respect issues.” He declares. “ you must visit a shrink.”

“ Imagine can any one be pleased with the number of hits and how quick? What are you thinking. You are in Olympics? And what are you Usain Bolt?”. “ And you are happy cos a dozen of dimwits who sit like zombies hit your blog and laugh at your elitist jokes?” Then he warns me, “ they are small people with small ambitions.” Yeah like passing the IIT or BITS and then working in say a NASA or get Rhodes or Templeton and do higher studies?” “ No creativity. They don’t fudge.” I agree.

I gently ask him, “ But you too seem to have issues- anger issues. Cant we go together to the shrink. Maybe we can get a discount?”. He grins now. He isn’t thick. “ Its my Biology teacher. He’s a Mr. know it all. Gave me a C in my test. I couldn’t describe what is a Mammal.”

4am : nothing better to do. so use my Search Engine Optimisation skills. decide key words- check.create meta tags -check. add url -check. pleased with my work. going to sleep zzzzzzzzzzzz.
Feel like pablo picasso. happy with my creation. got to check the no. of hits.

4.30: Nishant's words ring in my ears. Elitist! Nerdy! Boring!
NOOOO i am fun. wake up!
got to spice up things. modify the key words. add Britney spears, Paris Hilton. still not happy. add pamela anderson.k need to cover some fashion keywords too. the devil loves prada comes to mind. add some more key words. prada, gucci, calvin klein.
add some reciprocal links.
ahh sleep sweet sleep.

11.am sluggish. carry my ache and my black coffee to the laptop.

12.pm Head spinning. nothing to do with my headache. there are images popping out of windows. the laptop behaving as if its got a mind of its own. i can see scores of ads all starting with Devil. i dont know what to do.

1.pm : Diagnosed. the laptop is infected with trojan horse.

it takes 24 hrs to format and recover. check my hits. all time low. 20 in two days!!

two lessons to learn. one never save money on Anti virus. and too never enter areas you know nothing about.

I am applying for my Mcafee renewal and deleting SEO Lessons.