Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I am not a Pig Farah!

The Pigs never had it so good. They simply refuse to yield their top position in the headlines.

The distressed people, the mango junta , tired of swine flu were looking for stars for some respite. Alas, the stars couldn’t themselves think beyond pigs.

Manoj Kumar was indeed a big star of yesteryears. So when he accuses Farah of calling him a Pig, well , every one sits up and listen. Not surprisingly there were more than hundred comments.

Farah must be kicking herself for being such a sow. Now she may be obnoxious , but to be fair to her she was just using the ‘propah’ term. All she said was that his movie was a chest nut of ham scenes which literally meant that he had overacted.

After the outbreak of swine flu , people are wary of eating pork.
The geriatric actor may be missing the delicious sausages in his breakfast.
Perhaps that’s why he only read ham and saw hmmmm pigs!

But if it is any consolation to Farah , she may not be the only victim of the queens English. It is a great leveler and treats every one with the same disdain. That’s why perhaps its called the Queens English!

One British gentleman was asked to open his bag at the airport. He jocularly commented, “ Better be careful. Its so loaded with clothes that it may explode the moment you open it.” The alert official heard no further. This guy was taken in and strip searched!

Once a pesky friend of a friend of a friend from India was bugging me for getting him a software project. I explained that it would be unethical as I was being paid by my company to do precisely that. When I couldn’t shake this guy off I tried to excuse myself by pretending I was busy. “ I am afraid I cant chat with you now.” I wrote. The valiant entrepreuner kept asking me who was I afraid of ? was my boss sitting next to me?

I therefore prefer to simply wish some one good luck instead of the rather theatrical , go break a leg. Knowing Indian generosity, I shudder at someone praying that I break both my legs!

Sometimes I do wonder if language is meant to communicate or to leave you clueless!
My experience with all the banks has been terrible. When you send them a mail, they reply in such a garbled, incoherent and stupid way that you are left none the wiser.

In those frustrating moments , I swear at them calling them Pigs! No hamming there , I swear.

My sister mentioned this remarkable talent and now I am a big fan. I am sure we will see a lot of him in the future.

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