Thursday, April 7, 2011

Porn Nights - The epilogue

The response to porn nights was overwhelming. So much so that now I have become a Dr. Phil to a young student from Manipal. He considers me his sex guru.
He is my favorite. Because he is a big spender. I like people who come and spend money in my place.
I like to spin stories to him because when he gets excited, he sways in his seat like the Titanic,becomes hot and sweaty and guzzles my Mint mojitos like beer till his main course arrives. It usually is a large pizza – an all meat extravaganza or a sausage lover or chicken supreme. The large pizza is just a ploy to sit here as long as possible. I am plainly jealous. Here I am on a detox diet and still ‘ delightfully plump’ as someone kindly put it. I go on that diet at least once in six months. It’s a crazy diet. No alcohol. No caffeine. No meat. Removes all the toxins. And here he was loading himself with all the toxins and yet slim and trim.
Seriously I don’t really mind as he keeps my cash register ringing. Can’t really complain since the business was bad what with the exams and all. So I keep spinning. And if some one things I am being unethical, I cant claim the patent to that trick. It started long back, from times immemorial , when man discovered fire and invented wheels and Go Go bars. And when the girls there found how stupid men can really be. Its business really. You don’t have to be in Harvard to understand that.
But Yesterday he foxed me. He looked around surreptiously and in a whisper asked me if I had ever used Viagra. I asked him why would I. He was on his second Mojito as he said that he had heard that all old people needed it. Me old! I cheerfully told the waiter to add two slices of green chillies to his mojito.
“ Gives it a zing.” I said cheerfully. As he persisted , I asked him what was his age. He was sweating as usual as he chugged thirstily, “ Twenty”. Well at twenty, if he was so curious about Viagra, I thought something was really wrong there ( No Pun).
But he was anything but stupid. He suddenly said something that clearly left me speechless.
“ You know somewhere deep within all of us lurks a peeping tom. This peeping tom drives us to into other people’s lives and their bedrooms. Else there would be no porn and all those porn stars would be jobless.” I was speechless. Damn I knew he was a smart lad. But this coming from him?
We were quiet for a moment. Then he asked me that inevitable question. Did she meet you?
I was silent collecting my thoughts. What could I tell this youngster with raging hormones. His brain was in his pants. Such was his age. How could I tell that there was more to life than sex.
Its been more than a month since we met. That was a special meeting. Two strangers yet not quite. When we hugged each other, it felt like I had known her since long.
Honesty has a cascading effect. we sat for hours. From my restaurant to a bar and back, sharing all our inner secrets. She spoke about her drugs, rehab and countless teenage issues. I about…. Well lets us leave it for some other day. I looked at her with respect. She wasn’t afraid of her past. We all have our pasts. How many have the courage to own it?
Her name was Anagha. “Call me Anne”. Whats wrong with our wooly NRIs. When in India, they are more westernized and when abroad, they suddenly become more sanskritised. Why couldn’t they have named her Anne?
“ You know you are my best friend. My friends are all jealous of me.” She smiled again. I smiled too.
There was nothing extraordinary about her. But her beauty lay in that ordinariness.
I just loved everything about her. Her thick glasses, her braces ( Since when have people looked so pretty in braces! when she smiled , she lit the room. ), her trampish clothes and above all her honesty.
She let all her skeletons out. I am not disclosing them to any peeping toms.
As she got up to leave, she hugged me , her eyes moist. “ you are not half as ugly as I imagined.” We laughed. Her tears shone in the light making my throat choke. I was seeing a little girl not so long ago, hugging me as she hurt her toe. I had picked up my neice and kissed her toe and told her that her pain would evaporate and vanish in thin air. She believed it. But would this pretty girl believe me?
The randy boy poked me. What happened when you met her.
I stood up and smiled.
“ea venit, ea vidit, ea vicit” she came , she saw and she conquered.

Goodbye Anne,Hope your life is filled with happiness and sunshine and hope you remain as weird as ever and I as ugly as you thought me to be.
For that is what brought us together.