I am the Rock Star of Internet

I love French. And I love my translator.
It makes ordinary people like me look special – a la Ordinaire.
You would think I am being praised.
My blogging skills in French are ‘Extra Ordinaire’.( close your eyes and imagine a pretty mademoiselle pouting sexily, the words dripping in honey. Mm I love it. She can even call me a swine!)
Translated in simple English it is ‘Very Ordinary’!
I hate English. Or when translated by a French.

But more power to internet. It makes even poor ole me feel like a rock star. Just have a look at the Live feed. Damn! I am being read in 20 countries!!! And my English teacher felt that I couldn’t write one sentence without 20 mistakes! Bless her soul. She must be dead and gone. I wish she was alive. I miss that perverse pleasure. Seeing her confess she was wrong! i would have asked her to write that 20 times!

And my geography teacher! he thought i couldnt read 20 countries. Now there are 20 countries where people read me!
( or honestly whatever they do in my blog. I know half of them cant read English.)


That is the power of internet. It makes everyone feel good. I feel I know shakira more than my neighbor. After all I watch her shaking her hips more times in a day than I see my neighbor’s fat ass in a fortnight.

Learning Spanish is much easier while watching her.

como se llama, si, bonita, si mi casa.

Till now I thought that I was the most unemployed guy in the world. But looking at these sad people I wonder what is happening? Are they so bored with life.
This is like taking masochism to an entirely new level. What on earth would an Moroccan find interesting on my blog.

I would be worried,though, if there was someone from Kazakhstan. But no. Borat is not planning to abduct any Katrina kaif. He prefers buxoms like Pamela Anderson to our anorexic kudis. Paint Mumbai red. Katrina. You have nothing to fear.

No Italian either. I know they are chivalrous. You can’t offend an Italian signora and expect them to forgive you. Even if she lives in India.

Two Pakistanis, one from Islamabad and one from Karachi are my daily visitors. I feel like I got a shot of steroids. I am winning friends from across the border with my languid prose. wow. my pen is mighty.
Till I notice they come always through my post
“ sex , slum dogs and valentine.” Sickos.

We expect love from our neighbors but of a more different kind.

I call my friend happily and tell him about my popularity. He sniggers. He has visitors from 32 countries. I am appalled ? frothing and incoherent , I mumble , why , how , when?
Kool as cucumber he responds , “ I been unemployed for more time than you”.
Welcome to the club. 20 is the bare minimum to join.