Wednesday, April 8, 2009


Guys, Awards Nights are like power outages these days. You never know when the next is coming. And its always coming!

I honestly love them. All the stars who attend gets at least some award. So we have a comedian in a comic role, a non comedian in a comic role, a comedian in a serious role , the serious in a serious role. The Cambridge Dictionary is never better utilized than when the awards are announced.

So here are my awards. Every ‘ happening’ guy has something including ME!
Why this awards wouldn’t have happened if I weren’t there right?

1. THE BEST COMEDIAN AWARD : Sonia Gandhi for her comment “ Any one who Insults the PM is insulting the country.” Imagine this coming from a veteran of five years who has made a living out of insulting the PM.

2. JILTED LOVER AWARD : Amar Singh. The guy who has made Ditching an art behaving coy when ditched by Mulayam Singh for Azam Khan.

3. BOLLYWOOD MOMENT AWARD : Shoe being hurled at the Home Minister. Remember the many movies where the hero loses memory till something hits his head and he remembers everything. Even as the shoe missed him, a shaken HM suddenly remembers the pain of the sikh community and the party issues a statement that Tytler’s and Sajjan’s Candidature may be reviewed. Imagine if the shoe had hit him!

I can almost hear Chidambaram shouting , Jo bole sonihal!!!!!!!!!!!

4. Coming out of HIBERNATION AWARD : Who else but NAFISA ALI!!!!!! We see this glamorous socialite once in five years during election only to lose her to the social party circuit afterwards.
She is also a nominee for the BRAVERY AWARD.

5. THE MOST UNBIASED AGENCY AWARD : The Election Commission. In an election rally it is not OK to say that you will cut some one’s hand. But it is perfectly OK to say that you can crush someone under a Road Roller.

6. THE BEST LOGIC AWARD : Shahrukh Khan. If you want to comment on something , simple, Buy it first! So if you want to comment on a movie, make it first. Comment on a cricket team? Silly you. Buy the team first.

The Election commission was a strong contender here. But we need glamour for TRP ratings! Who will watch the boring EC hogging all the awards.

7. The Most Unemployed Award : Who else but ME! Does it even deserve an explanation?