Tuesday, February 10, 2009

INTRODUCTION

He had a six figure income. And today he works in Starbucks. And he’s 62. He says he still sometimes gets his Lattes and frappucinos mixed. But he feels hes good in cleaning. He can mop the floor squeaky clean and shine the toilet like a Ferrari!

Welcome to the new world of recession! The Great American Dream in reverse!

Strange things are happening. I saw one old man at the publix staring at a punk who looked more like a plucked Turkey. Only He had a Mohawk painted in blue and green. “ what’s wrong with you fella? Haven’t you done anything weird in your life? “ oh yeah. I once had sex with a peacock when I was young and I was wondering if you are my son born out of that association!!!!!!!

“ But why a blog? what have you achieved in life?” My nephew enquired derisively.
“ Nothing ! precisely why I want to write. The young generation can take lessons from where I went wrong and take a U-turn from there. it could be as educating as what they dont teach you at Harvard”

“ Take my advise.” The guy advising me was a school drop out! “ what did you read?
“ “ Engineering” “ well catch the smartest kids in your field, toss your idea and see their reaction. “ and what if they reject ? “ well at least you will have the satisfaction of being rejected by the best “ he said smugly and left.

It wasn’t that I didn’t try for any other job. The old man with a six figure salary was my inspiration. And a kind friend helped me find a gas station. And my luck! The owner was a Pakistani. “ He’s from your region! “ The american friend said enthusiastically.

How little do the whites know!

There was no love lost between us as we shook hands. Beleive me guys.. The pakistani's mouth was connected to the sewer. I bet he could make a lorry driver blushand that too someone from Karachi or Lahore. But I needed the damn job.

So we kept chattering. That is he kept talking and I nodding.

He kept telling me how great country Pakistan was. How democracy thrived there. How weak was India. It couldn’t even protect its citizen. How they nicked us in Kargil and how good they were in cricket and hockey.

I kept nodding. Finally after 30minutes of monologue he asked me if I had any questions. I said three. Go ahead he said generously.

“ Are your parents alive” he was taken aback. He must have been over 55. “ yes “ he said tentatively.

“Do they live with you “ aham." He nodded.

“ is there any mosque nearby? “ Now his bushy brows furrowed. Why?

“ Simply cos I want to get them married.!!!!!”

It took him a while to understand and then he exploded. “ You bloody Indian , you calling me a Bastard.”

I gave him a mischievous smile,” For a Pakistani, you are not that thick are you?”

I have the instincts of a cat when I see danger.

So I mustered all my charm and keeping an eye on his big frame said, “ hey don’t worry about the protocol. I will see my ass out of the door.”

And suddenly as if I remembered something I peeped through the window. “ Sir, one more thing?” “ I winked and said “ khuda hafiz “ even as I was running.

Now I may have won the battle but still losing the war. I am still unemployed and looking for work. So guys help me with this blog!!!!!! Maybe someday Google will buy it!
.

The Chaupal is the common ground for all the nithallas :) . Its kind of the unofficial club in a village.

So I thought. Why not a chaupal for us? An interactive site where we discuss the important things in life. Or what we think is important and Learn from each other.

We can laugh at ourselves , weep at our miseries, Share our victories and mourn our losses.

I took the advise of the drop out guy and tossed a few blogs to the IIT Guys- some Mumbai, some Kanpur and some Chennai and waited for them to reject. But surprise! The IIT guys liked my idea.

So now I am putting this concept before a larger audience. YOU my dear readers YOU!!!!!

So here I am head bowed, hands folded, sitting on my knees." Guys love me or hate me. but dont ignore me. If you like me hit me. if you dont like hit me still. I am still the winner. and your suggestions are always welcome."

And use the F word as much as you can.

( Fantastic ! You pervs. What were you thinkingJ )

Also remember guys life can sometimes be hard. Take it with a smile.

“ When life dishes out Lemons; make Lemonades!” Say that to yourself everyday in front of the mirror everyday when you wake up. ( Trust me you will need it!!!!!!!)


So till we meet again. Its Ciao!

11 comments:

  1. the pakis are not going to like it

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  2. Girish RajadhyakshaFebruary 14, 2009 at 9:33 PM

    Hi...

    Read your Intro... Its really FANTASTIC...!

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  3. sudhir eagerly waiting for ur next article

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  4. I loved this line, Sir.

    Guys love me or hate me. but dont ignore me. If you like me hit me. if you dont like hit me still. I am still the winner.

    And don't think i am leaving as such.


    I was here to say that "you were F"





    FANTASTIC.

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  5. haha that was droll Anand.
    thanks very much indeed

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  6. Sudhir Kekre Sir,

    I was known for it.

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  7. I may have won the battle but still losing the war..
    Superstuff..
    What an introduction :)

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  8. hey shashank! thanks for the visit. grateful.

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  9. a normal guy itself wud have been intelligent enuf for the paki.

    you shud have been like "mohammad ali for a novice boxer "

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  10. and abt the chaupal.i will def be a regular.

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  11. Thanks for your comments dravidian. very grateful.
    btw i lived in a pakistani neighborhood in Manchester UK. Some of them were really brilliant.

    ReplyDelete