Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Devil loves Trojan Horse

3 am : off the bed and on the ground, the fall buffered by the carpet. Feel my bones. no injury. why do we call them nightmares when they happen at 3 in the morning.

3.15 am :opened the laptop. check if someone's online. none. yaawwwwwwwwn! check my gmail. hope some one has replied to my job application.not much chance.
Even Jesus may be sleeping.
But surprise! There's one reply. A big one. i know it must be a rejection. "your resume very impressive. blah blah blah. however ... blah blah blah."
anger turns to fury. shoot a mail. " Conserve keystrokes , jerk. I see carpal tunnel written on your knuckles in bold when i read your mail. what were you aspiring? a booker award?

just two words would have been enough- You Suck!"

3.25 am : return mail from the same guy. seems to be an insomniac." wow Man! you win my heart. consider writing lyrics for T-Pain." Brings smile. He can sure give as he gets.

3.27 before i can reply, some one pings. NISHANT!!! perfect anodyne for a bad mood.(To refresh your memory, he’s the same guy who fudged his report card ( just was being creative ) and his name is not Nishant ( you can’t keep calling me anonymous. So call me Nishant – end of gloom!!!!!!).

“ You have serious self- respect issues.” He declares. “ you must visit a shrink.”

“ Imagine can any one be pleased with the number of hits and how quick? What are you thinking. You are in Olympics? And what are you Usain Bolt?”. “ And you are happy cos a dozen of dimwits who sit like zombies hit your blog and laugh at your elitist jokes?” Then he warns me, “ they are small people with small ambitions.” Yeah like passing the IIT or BITS and then working in say a NASA or get Rhodes or Templeton and do higher studies?” “ No creativity. They don’t fudge.” I agree.

I gently ask him, “ But you too seem to have issues- anger issues. Cant we go together to the shrink. Maybe we can get a discount?”. He grins now. He isn’t thick. “ Its my Biology teacher. He’s a Mr. know it all. Gave me a C in my test. I couldn’t describe what is a Mammal.”

4am : nothing better to do. so use my Search Engine Optimisation skills. decide key words- check.create meta tags -check. add url -check. pleased with my work. going to sleep zzzzzzzzzzzz.
Feel like pablo picasso. happy with my creation. got to check the no. of hits.

4.30: Nishant's words ring in my ears. Elitist! Nerdy! Boring!
NOOOO i am fun. wake up!
got to spice up things. modify the key words. add Britney spears, Paris Hilton. still not happy. add pamela anderson.k need to cover some fashion keywords too. the devil loves prada comes to mind. add some more key words. prada, gucci, calvin klein.
add some reciprocal links.
ahh sleep sweet sleep. sluggish. carry my ache and my black coffee to the laptop. Head spinning. nothing to do with my headache. there are images popping out of windows. the laptop behaving as if its got a mind of its own. i can see scores of ads all starting with Devil. i dont know what to do. : Diagnosed. the laptop is infected with trojan horse.

it takes 24 hrs to format and recover. check my hits. all time low. 20 in two days!!

two lessons to learn. one never save money on Anti virus. and too never enter areas you know nothing about.

I am applying for my Mcafee renewal and deleting SEO Lessons.


  1. Trojan- a cond*m brand and the virus ..but the feel of the presence is way different until I come to know its an army :-)
    Sometimes we fight with it or it fights with us ,I realized why stuffs are named TROJAN