As confused as a baby in a topless bar!!!!!!!!!

My Room mate complains that my post are no longer classy. I take it as a compliment. It means that I was classy before. so what he means is that I have only lost my form but class ,as they say, is permanent. Ah vanity!!!!!!!!!!

Well I do not know about my class but he rightly pointed out that my mind is not in my writing. I am about to take a major decision. And that is surely affecting my train of thoughts.

I think its time to move my cheese.

I am in two minds.

I have always maintained that the moment a guy leaves the Indian shores, his happiness is screwed. His life becomes compartmentalized.

You are never happy. But you start inventing ways to pretend you are happy.

Happiness is a myth. You draw your own algorithms on what makes you happy.

Here I am sitting on my favourite chair and looking out as I write.

I love watching the rain drops falling from my window. I love my neighbor’s dog although he never forgets to scratch my hand in his over exuberance. I love the sun beam dance into my room when its not raining. I love it all.

Small things.

Yet they are an intrinsic part of my life. I have called this house my home for over 4 years now. It breaks my heart to think I am leaving this.

I have planned to relocate in August.

But I love India too.

I love when I land in Delhi. I love the smell of the air as I walk out. It smells different. It isn’t as crisp and clean as in USA but it has a unique smell of love and belonging.

I love getting lost in the crowd. The sea of humanity , the chaos, the madness on the street ; an orchestra gone wrong.

I love the smell of the hot samosa and syrupy jalebis.

The parrots wake me up early morning but I don’t complain.

A hundred things I love.

There are small glitches too.

I am bemused as I am unable to cross the street.
I wince when friends eat on the road side kiosks.

My hands freeze as I try to negotiate the car through the onslaught. Raising my hands in resignation I take a cab.

But that’s no big deal. I tell myself.

I love India. This is my home.

This is wherein lies my dilemma.

Adopted home or Adapt to Home.

I feel like a pendulum. Adopt , adapt, adopt adapt.

Didn’t I say your happiness is screwed once you cross the Indian shores.

Forgive me dear fans

it's time to pretend.