An open letter to Mahendra Singh Dhoni

Dear Dhoni,

I am miffed. No I am not angry. Just miffed. Its not about getting booted out of the world cup. Well you win some and lose some.

Besides I admire you as a player and as a captain. I cannot forget the way you single handedly won the semi finals in the IPL and again your captaincy in the final where you set Pollard brilliantly to win the match. Though your critics say that Mumbai lost the cup in the semifinal itself when Harbhajan hugged Nita Ambani and lifted her up. A furious Mukesh Ambani, it seems bribed his own players to lose so that this is not repeated again.
He angrily even wrote to the BCCI President demanding that he fire Harbhajan for poor vision. He couldn’t differentiate between lifting the trophy and the trophy wife? A copy of the letter was also sent to Harbhajan’s school.

But the BCCI President Shashank Manohar wrote back that he was busy cleansing the system off Modi. After removing him from the IPL , he now plans to write to the Oxford to remove all the words with Modi in it. He has sent his list. I could only read Modify and Modicum when it was being posted. He calls it “The Shashank Redemption”.

The school, meanwhile, replied back that they follow the highest standards. No student is passed or failed till he appears for the exam. They are still waiting.

No. I am miffed because you blamed the late night parties for your performance. I am miffed because you didn’t mention what the hell you guys were drinking. If I have a drink , I don’t even feel the effect the next day. And you guys are feeling it effects even after two weeks. Now this isn’t fair.

Is it that the Mallya guy is adding some more of his olla la la lo olla le in your drink. Reminds me I must sue this Mallya guy. He is responsible for us losing out. Its not your fault that every time a short pitched delivery was hurled you guys started dancing the olla la oh olla le song. This man had brain washed you guys so much.

I am also miffed because we Indians are known for our hospitality. How then you guys didn’t take care of the Gayles and the Pollards. They looked pretty fresh and in fine fettle.
No Mahi, this isn’t cricket.

I am miffed that you made me do the unthinkable. Damn I was praying for the Australians to win. Can you imagine me praying for Austalia!!!!!!

WHAT NEXT? Rooting for a Pakistani captain ?

Its not a joke Dhoni. Brace yourself. This guy Shoaib Malik is bored playing ball boy to his wife Sania Mirza. So he has sent his resume to the board.

The VP, Rajiv Shukla is excited. He wants to tell Madam that a Muslim captain will fetch more muslim votes. We any way lose most of our matches. But our party will become stronger.

So consider yourself warned. If I were you, I would approach Sharad Pawar.

Cheer up mate. World cup is not the end of life. You should be happy now. You have more time now. More time means more money. The ad makers are waiting.

As that Mallya guy says, “ olla la la la olla lu”

Regards

Yours etc.