Sonia G's Letter to Shashi Tharoor.

( This letter was released to me under the RTI act)

Dear Shashi,

I write this with a lot of disappointment and pasta on my face. Janardhan Deevedi is alarmed. “ Its egg on the face madam”. Stupeed man. He could not teach me hindi in fifteen years and now he tries to correct my engleesh. You can take an Italian from her country but you can never take pasta out of an Italian.

Well. I hand picked you based on your experience in the United Nations. You had experience in the oil for food scam. You had experience in the food for oil scam. I was told that you helped Kojo,The Secretary General Kofi Annan's son to weather that scandal.Then how could you be so stupid.

You write that you do not want to embarrass the party. Ofcourse you did. Our close friend Laloo had this to say “ Sonia ben, 70 cr. Kaa cheez hai? Itna to sasura hamara gopal ganj ka sub-inspector har mahine kha jata hai or dakaar bhi nahi leta. Yeh tharoor eez totally not competent for a minister’s job.”

We were embarrassed even in front of our allies. A .Raja , the DMK minister came to offer his condolence. That pompous bastard. He was gloating about how he managed to swindle millions without being caught. I didn’t concentrate because I thought he was talking in tamil till Chidambaram flapped his mundu and whispered in my ears that he was speaking English. (Must say though. This mundu flappin habit completely fazes me. That’s why I never allow Chidambaram to sit right in front of me. )

As if that was not enough that hippo of a man, sharad pawar trundled in. I wonder why they need rollers in the stadium. All they have to do is to make this man walk. I hate him and his stupeed NCP.

At least you could have done the party a service if you had taught this man to tweet. He doesn’t do any work in the ministry any way and doesn’t have much to say. And whatever he says no one understands.

Talking about understanding, I will never understand this guy Manu Sanghvi. He should understand that you just cannot blame BJP for everything. Stupid man. On Arnab’s show he said that IPL was mismanaged even during BJP rule till someone had to remind him that there was no IPL during BJP rule. He’s an idiot. He doesn’t know the Indians. They even know the number of sixes Sachin scored. He is no good. Veer Singhvi is doing a better job as the party spokesman. And so is Barkha Dutt. Must make this guys Rajya Sabha members. Why even Prannoy Roy has promised to change his channel to HMV ( His mistress’s Voice). Sweet chap. This Prannoy Roy.

And what is it with your girl friend Su. She says that the Indians do not understand the meaning of sweat equity. Of course they don’t. even we Italians don’t. you get money without breaking any sweat. How can that be sweat equity?

Also she’s learning the dirty habit of us politicians in blaming the media for everything. She says that the media has made me into a slut. Darling , the media has no such powers. They have only made you into a popular slut. Now you are in the big league girl! So cheer up. Some day when you meet some powerful sheikh, you will have this media to thank.

But I must certainly have something to thank for. By opening this Pandora box ( Mama mia! I learnt that from that movie Avataar), we have a chance of taking over the BCCI.

Rahul baba can then be a happy man. He needs money and also something to do. Whatever he does ends up silly. Remember the idea of sleeping in the dalits house. And how our congress men went there with mineral water bottles and new crockery. Or this recent rallies that he flagged in UP and how some rallies had nautch girls dancing. How shameful. There was a BJP rally in MP where they had nautch girls. I am sad we copy them everywhere. Cant we think of something original.

Well for this service alone, you will be made the youth president when Rahul baba become the president of BCCI.

Thank you,

Yours truly

SG.